I AM MOTHER who grows dreams in my belly
From my blood drinks the Tree of Life
Rooted in heaven until the birth quake
Splits me open in revelation and relief
And I awake from the nightmare of separation.
- Excerpt from Preface to I AM MOTHER – The Unfolding Lap
First published in Midwifery Today, Summer Issue 2005
© Jeannine Parvati Baker
When I was a young girl I was always asked what I wanted to be when I grew up. And although I had myriad answers depending on the vogue at the time: ballerina, gymnast, photojournalist (yes, I actually said this in a paper I wrote once) the unequivocal primary answer was, “I really just want to be a mother.”
And I am. It’s essential to my being.
Enjoying a moment on a rock, about five years ago, with Dazzling Daughter at our favorite lake.
Like a lot of mothers who write, when stories are born in my head they often have to do with things my children have done or said in my every day life. Long ago I learned the beauty of the resonance in families and the beautiful quality of having My Beloveds reflect back to me things that really matter. They say we’re all mirrors for each other and in my experience the mother-child relationship is one of the purest mirrors there is.
That said, I’ve decided that my children’s irritation at being the subject of my musings might be lessened if I follow what many bloggers do and use nicknames! So eventually you’ll meet Best Birthday Gift Ever, Elder Sun, Dazzling Daughter, and Nuclear Sun.
Over time the reasons behind these nicknames will make more sense.
No doubt there will be many references to my children in my posts. Being their mother has given the strongest purpose to my life an individual could hope for. And yielded the most joyful awarenesses and lessons.
After being told by doctors in 1985 not to ever get pregnant I resolved to make my own choices according to my own inner truth.
And so I did. I am mother.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
I call my girlfriend ‘the Diva’ on the blog, after a discussion. At least she agreed to be featured.
cheers,
Angus
Yes, nicknames are nice, aren’t they. Well at least you asked her first. (Even though I asked my kids, I think they knew they didn’t really have a lot of choice!)
Allison